The Stone Unturned

I did my part. I did everything I could. I tried. I worked. I shouted at the make-believe you while I sat in bed at night, staring into the darkness.
It's the same shit that happens all the time.
And I can't figure out why I still try and do my part.
I can't figure out why I still care.

The Way We Were

And then, the light poured in and exposed you for what you are.

The Glass Window

I kept staring, knowing there was something missing.

And then I realized, it was you.

The Place Where Time Doesn't Matter

But time always matters.
Because eventually, you always have to leave.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Sometimes, the light is right in front of you. But other times, you have to search for it.

Go find it.


*Remember all photos in The series are taken by Marcela Pineda. This note will not be at the end of any other post.

The series.

My friend, Marcela Pineda, went to Israel and took amazing photos.
I'm going to pull an I Wrote This For You and post a series of short stories (twenty posts total) for you.
Photo by me.

Not meant for me.

It seems that none of my dreams ever come true.





1. I really hate that I'm jealous of you. But, it's just that you're doing what I wanted to do. What I still want to do.

2. I'm so mad at you. I wonder what it would have been like if you had said yes. I wonder what everything would be like if you had said yes.

3. Please refrain from saying things about how I feel about myself until you realize that you feel exactly the same way.

4. Wake up and smell your cigarette smoke.

5. I wonder if everyone else needs to have that reassurance as much as you do.

The Truth Is Ugly

In the movies, the person leaving you never has a blocked nose when they cry. And all their tears are pretty.

via I Wrote This For You

My dream

... sometimes includes running around to everyone that has ever truly pissed me off or did stupid shit that I can't agree with or hurt me or ignored me or bullied me and beat them to a bloody pulp with a baseball bat. You know all of those epic fight scenes where people get the absolute SHIT kicked out of them? Yeah, I want to do that to some people sometimes. I can see it in my head. Just go ape shit and start hitting people. Like Spartacus or something. I don't know.
But of course, I'm not stupid enough to do this. And I'm not actually that strong or that physically violent.




EDIT: I also want to fulfill this dream to anyone who has genuinely annoyed me, disrupted class, is LOUD when people are trying to work/pay attention to the teacher.
I hate you.
Please proceed to

Man, you must feel really awesome.

Someone asked me on formspring.me anonymously:
" Do you have any idea how pathetic you are?"
My response:
"Oh, yes, I am quite aware. Thanks for asking.
Don't you feel so big asking this anonymously and hiding behind your computer screen? I bet you do."

via I Wrote This For You (an oldie but goodie):
Small people only want one thing from you:

Someone else to be as small as they are.

Stay big.

Something's gotta give.

I feel like a garbage disposal.

The Game

I keep calling out to you and all you do is bring everything I don't want. What do I need to do?
What?
What?

This is what I do when I'm hanging around the hospital.

... No, I'm not here for fun. Ha. But no worries, everything is a-okay.

Basics:

Name: Morgan Miller

Date of Birth: 03/36/91 (I'm a youngster)

Birthplace: Tejas

Current Location: H-Town

Eye Color: Dark brown

Hair Color: Currently black.

Height: 5’3”

Heritage: Oh, so many. German, Swedish, Irish, English, French.

Piercings: My ears, but I never wear earrings. I don't like to.

Tattoos: None, thinking about getting something TINY on my wrist, but I'm not sure that will ever happen.

Favourite:

Band/Singer: Matt Nathanson.

Song: Oh, that's so tough. I'm loving anything off of Matt Nathanson's album, Some Mad Hope; also currently addicted to the Avatar soundtrack. Asleep by The Smiths is beautiful.

Movie: Avatar, Bright Star, Bootmen, Somersault, Girl With A Pearl Earring, and so many more. Oh, Thumbsucker is awesome.

Disney Movie: Pocahontas!

TV show: omg I watch so much TV. White Colloar, Burn Notice, So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway, and I have a morbid fascination with Spartacus: Blood and Sand. It's more like Spartacus: Blood and Sex, though.

Color: Purple. Not fuchsia. Purple.

Food: Almost any vegetable and fruit. Get that meat away from me, though.

Pizza topping: Light cheese and light sauce.

Ice-Cream Flavor: I don't really dig ice cream, but if I had to choose, mint chocolate chip.

Drink (alcoholic): I don't drink. Gross.

Soda: Diet Coke. Ugh, I shouldn't love it, but I do.

Store: I like a lot of stores. Hmm... I love clothing from Urban Outfitters but I hate actually being there.

Clothing Brand: I don't have one.

Shoe Brand: Don't really have one, but maybe Dolce Vita or Steve Madden. Or Christian Louboutin!

Season: Winter, I think. But I love every season for different reasons.

Month: I don't really have one. Maybe November, December and January.

Holiday/Festival: Christmas or Thanksgiving. I <3 eating.

Flower: Maybe Calla Lillies? I don't know, I like a lot of flowers.

Make-Up Item: I love foundation + powder. Evens out my skin tone. I also love eyebrow pencils because my eyebrows do not exist if I don't fill them in.

Board game: I don't know. Maybe Imagine If... or Cranium.

This or That:

Sunny or rainy: Sunny!

Chocolate or vanilla: Milk chocolate.

Fruit or veggie: Either, really. I love both. <3

Night or day: Either.

Sour or sweet: Both.

Love or money: I love love.

Phone or in person: In person. I hate talking on the phone.

Looks or personality: "A mix of both. You have to have a happy medium here. You basically can’t be with a person who you’re not physically attracted to because you won’t have physical chemistry, but you also can’t be with a person who you can’t connect with on an emotional level. SO. both." (The girl I took this from said this and I completely agree.)

Coffee or tea: Not really a huge drinker of either, but I guess coffee with a hell of a lot of creamer + sugar.

Hot or cold: Cold. When it's cold, you can rug up and get warm, but hot, you have to strip down and no one wants to see me naked.

Your:

Goal for this year: Kick ass.

Most missed memory: I have a lot of those.

Best physical feature: Eyes? I don't know. I have pretty good teeth, I think.

First thought waking up: Either, "Holy hell, I have hunger," "Five more minutes," "School today, LET'S DO THIS," or "Oh good, I didn't sleep too late."

Hypothetical personality disorder: I have no idea. OCD. Hahaha

Preferred type of plastic surgery: Maybe lipo, but I hope I never need it. XD

Sesame street alter ego: Cookie Monster or Oscar the Grouch.

Fairytale alter ego: Pocahontas or Belle from Beauty in the Beast. Well, those are Disney movies, but whatever.

Most stupid remark: "I hate it when people try to insult you or say something negative/condescending, but they use incorrect grammar or spelling. Always cracks me up!" Agreed.

Worst crime: Murder.

Greatest ambition: I have so many and all of them are equally important to me. Acting, dancing, photography, writing. They're all such a part of me.

Greatest fear: Death in general, failure, and being alone forever.

Darkest secret: Hmm. I don't really have a dark secret, I don't think.

Favorite subject: Well, I currently LOVE Observational Drawing and Photography. English is easy but it's ridiculous. Design Fundamentals is alright.

Strangest received gift: A head massager and a wrought iron hand to put jewelry on. REALLY, AUNT MEL? REALLY.

Worst habit: Procrastinating.

Do You:

Smoke: No waaaayyyy. So gross.

Drink: Nope.

Curse: Yes.

Shower daily: Nope. It will dry out my skin and hair.

Like thunderstorms: Yes… but they’re better when you’re with someone.

Dance in the rain: On occasion.

Sing: Oh man, I put concerts on when no one's home and in the car, but I am SO bad.

Play an instrument: No, I'm so bad at all of it.

Get along with your parents: Sometimes. Not a lot, though. They're ridiculous.

Wish on stars: Sometimes.

Believe in fate: Yes.

Believe in love at first sight: I don't know. Maybe attraction, but not love.

Can You:

Drive: Yes.

Sew: Yes. Poorly, but yes.

Cook: Some things.

Speak another language: At one point, I could sort of speak German. I can't really anymore.

Dance: Yes. <3

Sing: I can physically sing and sing on tune and on key, but the tone of my voice is not pretty.

Touch your nose with your tongue: Nope!

Whistle: Nope.

Curl your tongue: Yes

Have You Ever:

Eaten Sushi: Yes. I don't dig it at aaallllll! I can see why people like it, but I just don't.

Been in Love: Nope.

Skipped school: A couple of times, but I never went anywhere instead. I would stay home.

Made prank calls: I have been in the same room when my friends did it, but I never would.

Sent someone a love letter: Nope.

Stolen something: Once on accident and then once more when I was a little older. I mean, $1.50 for a stupid button from Hot Topic. Really. At least it wasn't something for more than that.

Cried yourself to sleep: A couple times a while back, thinking about my grandpa Miller.

Other Questions:

What annoys you most in a person?
People who pretend to be something they are not.. and who portray themselves as perfect so other people will like them. Extreme stupidity, people who aren't motivated at all and aren't goal oriented. People who don't try or don't give a fuck about anything. Also, people who act like the world is their trash can.

Are you right or left handed? Right.

What is your bedtime? I do what I want! On weekdays, I’m usually in bed by midnight.

Name three things you can’t live without: Music, writing, and any form of art, whether that be visual or performing.

What is the color of your room? Butter yellow with green, black and blue painted words + quotes.

Do you have any siblings? One sister. She terrorized me when we were younger but we're so alike now.

Do you have any pets? My dad has a black Labrador, Andie (I named her. Hollaaa) and his girlfriend as a black Turkish Angora cat Cocoa Beans.

Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? Absolutely not. I'd just hope they died in a fire.

What is you middle name? Ann

What are you nicknames? Mo, Morgie, Momo, Mo Milluuhh, Big Mo, Moski, Captain Shufepuffle... I could go on, really.

Are you for or against gay marriage? FOR! 100%. Equal rights!

What are your thoughts on abortion? I am pro-choice; it really depends on the situation.

Do you have a crush on anyone? Oh man, no one I know, just those celebrity infatuations.

Are you afraid of the dark? Sometimes.

How do you want to die? In my sleep. Painlessly. Please, God, I'm begging you.

What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day? Maybe two or three. HEY, MY THROAT WAS SORE. Don't judge.

Would you take a bullet for the one you love? If they'd do the same for me.

What is the last law you’ve broken? Speeding! On accident. Whoops.

In a Member of the Opposite Sex:

Hair color: I don't really have a preference. I guess I like brown or black hair. But I dig some blondes + redheads.

Eye color: I tend to like blue, green and gray, but I like honey colored or light browns.

Height: Taller than me, which is very easy to be.

Weight: In shape. I like people who are physically fit but not like "HEY LOOK AT MUH BIG ARMZ AND CHEST."

Most important physical feature: I'm not sure. Eyes, lips, nose, mouth. Hands and arms. Chest. Waist/hip ratio. Ahaha I don't know!

Biggest turn-off: That's a tough one. Unhygienic, assholes, laziness..




And now you've seen into my brains a little more.

Oh, shut up.

Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you hurt, you heal. After darkness, there is always light and you get reminded of this every morning but still you choose to believe that the night will last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good or the bad. So you might as well smile while you're here.





Words from I Wrote This For You
Photographs by me

It's Monday again

This means that I am behind in school work and I must hustle.

25/8.

The Last Letter

You're the same.
Actually, I take that back.
You're worse.

You've dropped off the face of the earth, or at least mine. Your efforts are lacking.
And you increasingly bother me. I told you how to contact me and you didn't.
Fine. That's okay.
I'm not saying we can't be friends. I'm not saying we won't be friends.
We just won't be close friends again.

And I'm not caring anymore. And I'm not trying anymore.


"Outside the station, she stands with her child on the side of the street, taking pictures of cars.

You think she's insane. Until, one day, you notice that she's taking pictures of the license plates of the cars her child gets into.

Because you look. But you do not see.

And she walks out the shop with bags full of cat food. You think she's some crazy cat lady until you find out, she has no cats.

Because you eat. But you do not taste.

It's been a while since their last album but he assures you, he's doing just fine these days, white flecks in his nostrils. Then he asks you if he can spend the night on your couch, even though it stinks.

Because you sniff. But you do not smell.

And they say "Just OK" when you ask them how school was. Then you wonder what they're hiding until you find their diary and the last entry reads "I wish you'd give me some privacy."

Because you listen. But you do not hear.

And they've got a bruise over their eye and you run the tips of your fingers over it and ask them how it happened. You believe them. Until it happens again.

Because you touch. But you do not feel.

And they walk past you everyday, one million stories, each waiting to be told. Waiting for you to ask.

Because you live. But very few, love."
- via I Wrote This For You


I refuse to care about people who don't care about me. I refuse to try for people who don't try for me. I refuse to wait for people who don't wait for me.
I'm sick of caring. I'm sick of trying. I'm sick of waiting.


Photo by me.

I have something to say to you.

Fuck you.

The Great Burning Supper

It sounds pretty but I disagree. I believe there are moments in your life when you have to dance like everyone is watching.


via I Wrote This For You.

Let's be positive.

Pushing forward 25/8.

Oel ngáti kámeie

Oh, really?
Because I feel really fucking invisible the majority of the time.

"That flag taught me hate."

Stop it.
It's not 1941.


Photo by me.

I think it's only the beginning.

This is chapter one.

I think Eduardo is the only boy I'll ever love <3



PS, check out this ridic toilet paper. LOLOLOL How does this even happen?