Come to the city and turn the lights back on

Hi, again.

Tumblr has been down for twenty-four hours. I'm dying a little bit. After getting a tumblr, I've realized how absolutely boring the internet is when not on tumblr.
So, I'm blogging here.

Not much is new, really.
Still going to school at the art institute and hating every second of it. I feel like each week is more and more week. I feel I will be dead by the end of my time there. It's awful. I'd like for a dream to come true, so I could just drop out and leave it behind forever and it wouldn't matter.
I watched a bootleg of American Idiot on broadway that has since then been taken down because it was illegal. However, it sparked something in me.
I'm missing acting and dancing now more than ever. There's a hole in me, now.
I want to get up to New York to see it live. I want to see it before Michael Esper (one of the leads) leaves. John Gallagher was my favorite in this show, but I was biased because he played the original Moritz in Spring Awakening. He was my default favorite, and then, after watching the bootleg twice and listening to the soundtrack repeatedly, Esper became my favorite. He's.. ugh, he's so good. I want to see it live because I hear stories on tumblr about how amazing he is in the show. It kills me that I don't live in NYC already and can just hop on over to see the show.

I have also been listening to John Gallagher's solo music. It's all live recordings because he doesn't have a record deal, but somehow, it's better this way. I feel like studio recordings strip what's real from songs. His songs are so raw and heartbreaking and honest. My favorite is definitely the song, Gone, Sorry. I was listening to the songs while doing homework one night and I wasn't really paying attention to the actual lyrics of any of the songs. And then finally, as the song was coming to a close, I heard the words, "Now I have you all my best, I'm afraid you'll have to steal the rest. Good luck finding where it went." I stopped what I was doing and started the song over and probably listened to it about five times. It's so. fucking. good. This isn't the same version I have recorded (the one I have is a bit slower [and a bit better.. some of the notes in the lyrics are a bit better and cleaner) but it's still amazing.



I had to take a story or lyrics of a song and tell it through pictures for my creative concepts class. I chose Gone, Sorry. Here are some of my pictures.

Okay, so I am in my Creative Concepts class

and my teacher keeps saying, "Um."
And I have to sit through this for four hours. I'm going to go nuts.

Oh my Rowling, I never update anymore.

I used to abuse this thing with updates.

Some The Academy Is... lyrics apply right now:


I still feel the same
No one's to blame

Morgan, stop eating fucking everything in sight.

It's really time to lose weight. It's not funny anymore.
I am feeling increasingly bad about myself.
:(

A post to complain.

So, I have been addicted to tumblr for some time now.
AND I DON'T WANT HELP.
It's keeping me from bitching and moaning about the same shit over and over again on here.
However, I will recap what's been going on:
So after my car wreck and after my second quarter of school ended, I went to Plano to visit my dad.
'Twas pretty boring.

Then, school started back up again (oh joy unbounded) and I have a teacher whom I have dubbed Sir Assigns A Lot. BECAUSE THAT'S ALL HE DOES. HE GIVES US MORE AND MORE WORK.
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS MICKEY MOUSE BULL SHIT. OMG.

The studio is pretty impossible to book, large format photography SUCKS, my portrait photography class is pointless and Hugh is still grading me unfairly (I had to ask him why I got a B on the last assignment. He looked at the photos again and declared I did, in fact, do the assignment correctly and replaced my B with an A. FUCK.). Digital retouching is kind of a pointless class to go to, but it's a lot of work outside of class. Srsly. We have a portfolio project, going on the whole eleven weeks, and we have to take photos pretty much every week based off of one concept. The concept I'm doing (pictured below) is oily wet people, using the studio at school. I need a black backdrop for this and OF COURSE the day before I had the studio booked to do some photos for this assignment, we ran out of the black paper. fml.

Perspective drawing is SO. MUCH. WORK. I feel kind of stupid in that class because I'm not very good at it (surprise! I thought I'd pwn it, but whatever). There's a girl in that class (who wasn't there the past two classes, so maybe she dropped it, I dunno) who is like a Lea Michele doppelgänger. It blew my mind when I first realized it, and now, what has been seen cannot be unseen.
There are some strange people in that class. One guy has a motor tick. He has been sitting next to me. I wouldn't be bothered by this if he didn't have the motor tick (he can't help it, I know, I'm a huge asshole what the fuck ever) and he shakes his head really quickly, like every five seconds. Last class, he sat next to me, to where if I looked at the instructor (who was a sub who WOULD NOT SHUT THE TRUCK UP, OH MY GOD), then I would see him shake his head over and over again. It got annoying really quickly.
And then, there's a really really strange nerdy guy who sat across from me last class and he doesn't shut up. At all. And he talks about pointless things that I don't want to hear about.
I also really hate the drafting lab (the room we use in perspective drawing, or the room interior design students use). Maybe because it's a night class (GOD I HATE NIGHT CLASSES), but there's something about it that I cannot stand. There are mats on the table that are this ugly pale greenish yellow that are rippled. They are supposed to be completely smooth and flat, but they aren't. That drives me up the wall. Our instructor was like, "LOL don't cut on the drafting tables because the mats on them are really expensive." and I thought, "Then why the FUCK are they all rippled?!"

Okay, here are some photos.

Oil series. Model: Marcela Pineda



My last portrait photog assignment. Model: Kristen Cammack (she's such a good model)



And lastly, just some fun with Marcela and her crazy false eyelashes.



Just gonna leave this here:

Hilarious. Only not really. Okay sort of.

So, here is my story of my broken water faucet.

Earlier today, I was like, “Hmm, I think I want some ramen noodles.”

So, I put the dry noodles in a bowl, turned on the hot water to cover the noodles with it, and then, the knob for the hot water shot off and was like and the water started shooting out across the kitchen from the hole where the knob had been, soaking absolutely everything, including me. And in the process of going under the sink to turn the hot water off, I got even more soaked.
At first, I was like
but then I was like and after it was over and done with, I was like



PS Tumblr has turned me into a gif fiend.

Okay, really.

I know the, like, two people who read this blog don't want to hear me complain about my weight but
U GUISE.

So, I had an entry a while back stating I was 129 pounds. I realized that the scale was off by plus six pounds (whew 124 lbs thank you jesus) but let me give you a sad story.
For my birthday, I got a pair of really really stretchy super soft the-most-comfortable-pants-I-have-ever-worn-in-the-history-of-pants high waisted, skinny jeans. BDG high waisted cigarette jean from Urban Outfitters if you're interested.
Anyway. My mom actually bought them a size too big so they're even more loose and I have to pull them up all the time, which is annoying, but it makes it that much more comfortable when I sit down. Needless to say, I wear them pretty much every day that I'm not wearing a dress or skirt.
HOWEVER.
Today, I was in my bedroom, lounging before my night class (that is so fucking boring oh my gawd) and I spied two pair of pants I used to wear all the time because they fit me like a glove. I decided that I would give my Amazing Pants a rest and wear those again because because I love them.
I COULDN'T EVEN GET ONE PAIR OVER MY HIPS. The other pair made me look like a ten pound sausage in a one pound casing.
I really need to lose, like, fifteen pounds in order to fit in all my clothes again D:
I mostly blame it on my mother for being unemployed and always being at home, so I can't do my normal workout (dancing pretty much the whole time she's gone).

I am actually really disappointed in myself that I just let myself go. I know that some people will be like, "Morgan, whatever, you're still small." But I'm not small for ME. Maybe for YOU but not for me and what I was a year ago.
My goal is to fit into my size zero pants again. (By the way, if someone who is reading this and thinks that a size zero is ridiculous, it's actually not when you're my height [five feet, three inches]. It doesn't look like a zero at my height.)

I really need to lay off the mayonnaise. BUT IT'S SO DELISHUS.

Oy.

I have been ignoring my blog.

I am tired of a lot of stuff including talking about it. Especially when I finally do talk about something and then someone has a problem with that.

And I am so sick of answering the same questions over and over again because people aren't listening the first two times I say something.

Answer redundancy answer.

Anyway, here are some photos from the past month or so. I don't remember exact dates, so... deal.



This is one of my good friends, Justin. He is a Harry Potter aficionado (but I would like to point out: that tie is mine. I bought it before I realized I am totally in Hufflepuff and not Gryffindor. RIP Cedric Diggory [which, by the way, was the number one trending topic on twitter the other day. Cedric Diggory, not RIP Cedric. Parenthesis is too long now stop it Morgan]). I took this set of photos the night of my accident, just a couple hours prior to it. I had a really good time taking these. He is currently in Harry Potter-a-go-go land, meaning, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park in Orlando, Florida. Come fall, he'll be moving to New York for school. I will miss him dearly.
Remember his face; he's going to be on Broadway some day.



This was also taken the night of my accident, just an hour and a half prior to it. I was driving from the Art Institute to Justin's house so we could watch the finale of Glee, which we had just missed because we were doing the photoshoot above. He took these with my camera (around ten o'clock). I think they turned out pretty swell.



My grandparents celebrated their anniversary (God, I cannot remember how many years. Fifty-five? Something like that). We went to River Oaks Country Club and my gran got a strawberry daiquiri. It would have been delicious had there been no alcohol in it.



I bought new makeup wipes, switching to an animal friendly brand called Yes To (I spoke about it in the past.. They have Yes To Carrots, Yes To Tomatoes and Yes To Cucumbers. The wipes are in the cucumber line). When I popped open the plastic cover, the sticker that covers the dispenser said this. And yes, I did smile.



My favorite cousin celebrated his twenty-fourth birthday a few weeks ago. This was the balloon my gran bought him. She's a big fan of balloons and cards. My cousin felt ridiculous taking it out to his car to take home. I have felt that same walk of embarrassment many a time.



A couple weeks ago, the sky was fucking beautiful for about three minutes. So glad my gran told me to go outside. At first I was like, "Ugh, what?" and then I saw the pink clouds. Serious cotton candy clouds, and you guys know how those are my favorite kind.


I posted a very small paragraph from something I'd been working on a while back. I wrote more and I love it. I have no idea where I'm going with it. And this is why it's been a little over a month since I've written for it; after my accident, I didn't want to do anything at all. And I still don't. I feel like I've been in the karmic shithouse for a while now, and unfortunately, it isn't a creative place for me at all.
That is all for now, maybe I will think of something later.

"Because, Blogspot, that's where they keep TEH LULZ."

I get on tumblr and then I can't get off. I just had a five hour reblog-a-thon of Glee and Harry Potter. Um. Whoops.




Miss Hitchens: You’re a good kid, Aphasia. Why did you try to rob a bank?
Aphasia: Because, Miss Hitchens, that’s where they keep the money.

Glee - 1x11 ‘Hairography’

Praise be.

This stupid car wreck stuff is finally over with.

gif party













IT'S LIKE COOL EPILEPSY














THIS IS SPARTAAAA






PS I have forgotten how to hoola hoop. HOW SAD.

Why so serious?

Being nice feels so good.

We should all be nice more often. <3


You know who you are:

1. I think you're really cool + real. There aren't enough real people and I am so glad that I know one of them.
I knew we'd be friends since that day in dance when I saw you wearing that pink Green Day shirt with the photo of the guys on them, because I had the same one.
I care a lot about you and I worry about your happiness. I hope you're happy. I hope the best for you.

2. I think, despite your sarcasm, you're really nice. You're cool + funny + I'm glad I got to meet you.
Stay real, girl.

3. You're such a cutie. I remember meeting you in Peter Pan and I thought you were really nice (I hope you weren't just being nice to be nice + didn't secretly hate me XD ). I wish we'd gotten to know each other a little better, but it's okay.
PS, iStalk photos of you + M* and u guise make me haw haw. ♥

4. Oh, you.
You were that pretty, friendly looking girl in my geometry class. I felt like an idiot because I was in geometry with freshmen when I was a sophomore, but you made me feel better about it.
I think you're such a cool girl and I'm so so privileged to know you. I'm going to miss you so much when you leave for college, so you have to promise me you'll keep in touch + that you'll hang out with me before you leave + whenever you come home for holidays or weekends.
PS, IOU a bedazzled bra. No, I haven't forgotten. Life just gets in the way. <3

5. I miss you a lot. I think you got a lot of shi- in high school that you didn't deserve. I understood your sarcasm, and I know how nice you are under it.
You seem really happy now and I'm so glad for it. ♥

6. Guurrrlll I could not stop watching you dance at Spring Show. You have grown into your dance SO much and I am so so proud of you. If you're on dance team next year, I can't wait to watch you dance again.

7. chu funny. I think you're really inspiring for me, artistically.
I really enjoyed hanging out with you when I worked in the main office + you in the nurse's office.
PS I like your hair.

8. I remember thinking you were really cool + pretty when I was in ninth grade. I still think so, and you post such funny things on Facebook XD

9. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish we could have had the chance to talk when I was in HS. I remember watching you in the choir thinking you looked like the only one who cared, who wanted to be there. I admired that, because I firmly believe that you should do what you love. I see a lot of myself in you.
Don't let anyone change you or try to bring you down or tell you that you aren't good enough. It's hard to hear it, but if you don't follow your heart, I think you'll be really unhappy.
I decided to do photography and it made me happy for a while and then I realized how much I miss dance + acting. Don't let yourself miss the things you love the most.
ily + I'm really glad we bonded over Avatar. ♥

10. I think you're so beautiful. I hope you see it.
You've always been so sweet to me + I really appreciate that. There aren't enough nice people in the world and I am so glad you're one of them, because you break that "beautiful girl ugly attitude" stereotype.
I think you're so talented and have such a bright future ahead of you. I can't wait to see your name in a Broadway playbill.
Don't forget me when you're famous ;D
PS, coffee or lunch is an absolute must.